If you spend any time in notary groups online, you’ve probably seen it happen over and over again.

Someone posts a genuine question. Maybe they are new. Maybe they are confused about a process. Maybe they are trying to avoid making a mistake. They are doing exactly what these groups are supposed to encourage — reaching out to a community of peers for guidance.

And then, instead of getting an answer in the comments, they get the same response:

“Check your messages.”
“I just sent you a DM.”
“Message me.”

Of course, there are times when a private message makes sense. Some situations involve sensitive information, client details, or circumstances that are too specific to discuss publicly. In those cases, a direct conversation may be appropriate.

But let’s be honest: that is not what is happening most of the time.

Most of the time, it is a sales tactic.

Why People Do It

From a marketing perspective, the strategy is easy to understand. When someone moves the conversation into private messages, they gain control over it.

They can pitch a service, course, coaching program, membership, or product without anyone else seeing the conversation. They can avoid public scrutiny. They can avoid being challenged if the advice is biased, incomplete, or self-serving. They can position themselves as helpful while quietly turning the interaction into a sales opportunity.

It is lead generation disguised as support.

And while that may be effective from a sales standpoint, it creates a real problem for the community.

The Problem With Taking Everything to DMs

When a question is asked publicly, the answer should usually be public too.

Why? Because the person asking the question is rarely the only one who needs the answer. There are always others reading the post who are wondering the same thing. Some may be too hesitant to ask. Others may not even realize they need the information until they see the discussion unfold.

Public answers create shared learning.

Private messages do the opposite. They hide information that could benefit everyone. They make it harder for others to weigh in, correct misinformation, or add a helpful perspective. Over time, they shift a group’s tone from educational and supportive to transactional and sales-driven.

That is when people stop feeling like they are part of a professional community and start feeling like they are being hunted for leads.

It’s Not Just Salesy — It’s Off-Putting

There is nothing wrong with marketing. Most of us are business owners, and marketing is part of running a business.

But there is a difference between honest marketing and inserting a sales pitch into every possible interaction.

When someone asks a simple question and gets funneled into private messages instead of receiving a straightforward answer, it feels opportunistic. It feels less like support and more like prospecting. And frankly, it is exhausting.

Lately, it seems like someone is always trying to sell something.

That constant pressure changes the culture of a group. People become more skeptical. New notaries become more vulnerable to bad advice. The overall quality of the community is beginning to decline.

We Need to Do Better as an Industry

If we want stronger notary communities, we need to encourage more transparency and less gatekeeping.

That means answering questions openly when possible. It means sharing knowledge in a way that helps more than one person. It means contributing because it is the right thing to do, not because every interaction might become a sale.

It also means being willing to call out behavior that does not serve the community well.

Not every question is a sales opportunity.
Not every comment needs to end in a DM.
Not every group member is a lead.

Sometimes people are just looking for help.

And if we truly want to build a professional, ethical, supportive industry, then we need to act like it.

The best communities are not built by the people who are always trying to close a deal. They are built by people willing to share what they know, answer honestly, and help others without expecting a private transaction in return.

That is the kind of industry we should all want to be part of.

If you’ve noticed this happening in notary groups too, you are not imagining it. And the more we talk about it, the better chance we have of changing it.