I recently saw a post in a professional notary group that made me pause—not because unusual situations don’t happen in our line of work, but because of what happened next.

A notary shared that they had an in-home appointment where the conditions appeared to suggest hoarding. They took photos of multiple rooms and posted them in the group, asking: “How would you have handled this?”

As you might imagine, the comments ranged widely—some empathetic, some judgmental, some focused on procedures, and others that missed the mark entirely.

But the more I thought about it, the more I felt like the most important part of this situation wasn’t the condition of the home.

It was what it revealed about our professional responsibilities—particularly around privacy and objectivity.

1) Privacy: “Not identifiable” isn’t the same as “appropriate”

A person’s home is one of the most private spaces they have. Even if the client isn’t pictured, the interior of a home can still be deeply personal—and potentially identifying.

But even if it truly can’t be traced back to the person, it raises a bigger ethical question:

Is it ever appropriate to turn someone’s private living space into a discussion prompt without their explicit consent?

The notary may have intended to get advice. They may have been shocked, unsure, or seeking perspective. But intent doesn’t erase impact—especially when we’re talking about someone who didn’t choose to be a topic of public conversation.

As notaries, we’re often working with clients during stressful moments: estate planning, illness, grief, financial strain, family conflict. Many people request in-home appointments because they already feel vulnerable.

That’s why protecting privacy isn’t just “good practice”—it’s a core part of professionalism.

Best practice: ask for guidance without exposing a client

If you genuinely want advice about an unusual appointment, you can do it in ways that protect dignity:

• Describe the issue generally without photos
• Remove unnecessary details (no location, no family dynamics, no personal items)
• Focus on the notarial process, not the client’s living conditions
• Ask questions like:
  • “How do you stay professional when you’re surprised by an environment?”
  • “What boundaries do you set during in-home appointments?”
  • “How do you keep your notes factual and neutral?”

2) Objectivity: our reactions are human—our role requires neutrality

Notaries are not investigators. We’re not there to diagnose, label, or judge. We’re there to perform a narrow but powerful role: identify the signer, confirm willingness (and capacity when applicable), and ensure the notarization is done correctly.

But we are also human.

When we walk into an environment that triggers discomfort, concern, judgment, or even sympathy, it can shape our behavior in ways we don’t always notice.

Sometimes it looks like:

• rushing through the appointment
• becoming overly controlling about the process
• speaking differently—less patiently, less respectfully
• making assumptions that aren’t relevant to the notarial act

The question isn’t whether we have a reaction. We will.

The question is:

Can we recognize our reaction and still remain neutral in the way our role requires?

Best practice: have a “default script” that keeps you grounded

When your emotions kick up, your routine can carry you.

A consistent professional script helps keep the focus where it belongs:

• “Thank you for having me. I’m going to confirm your ID and then we’ll review the notarial certificate.”
• “Before we proceed, I want to confirm you’re comfortable continuing today.”
• “I’ll explain what I’m doing as we go so everything is clear.”

This isn’t about being robotic. It’s about being steady.

3) Documentation: private, factual, and respectful

There’s an important distinction between sharing and documenting.

Notaries may need to record what happened during an appointment for their own professional records. But that should be done privately and in a way that stays neutral.

Best practice: write objective notes, not emotional ones

If you’re documenting an unusual appointment for your records, focus on facts, not labels:

• Date/time
• What occurred (as neutrally as possible)
• What actions you took (what you verified, what you completed, what you declined)
• What communication followed (if any)

This keeps you protected professionally without turning the client into a story.

What I would do instead

If I walked into an appointment and felt surprised or emotionally thrown off by what I saw, I wouldn’t pretend I’m above having a reaction. I’d just be very intentional about what I do with it.

Here’s what I’d do instead of taking photos or posting details in a group:

1) Mentally “name it” and refocus on my role

I’d take a quiet internal pause: “Okay, this is unexpected.” Then I’d refocus on what I’m actually there to do—identify the signer, confirm willingness, complete the notarial act correctly, and keep my presence calm and respectful.

That small reset helps me avoid reacting with my face, my tone, or my pace.

2) Stay professional in language, body language, and pacing

I’d keep my tone neutral and my pace steady—even if I feel uncomfortable or distracted. I’d avoid comments that could sound like judgment about the person’s living conditions.

No side remarks. No “wow.” No “oh my goodness.” No asking questions out of curiosity.

3) Keep the appointment about the notarization—not the environment

I would not treat the condition of the home as something to discuss, diagnose, or “solve.” I’d stay in my lane.

If the notarization can be completed correctly and respectfully, I’d proceed with a consistent routine: verify ID, review the document, confirm willingness, complete the certificate, and record my journal entry as required.

4) Document privately, factually, and minimally (if needed)

If there’s a professional reason to note something about the appointment, I’d document it for my own records in a neutral way—facts only, no labels.

For example: “Appointment completed at client residence. Identification verified. Notarial act completed.”
Or if something affected the process: “Client requested multiple pauses during signing; appointment took longer than expected.”

The goal is professional documentation—not storytelling.

5) If I need guidance afterward, I’d ask without exposing the client

If I wanted perspective from other notaries, I’d post a general question without photos and without vivid descriptions:

• “How do you stay grounded and objective when you’re surprised by a client’s environment?”
• “What practices help you maintain neutrality during emotionally distracting appointments?”
• “How do you ensure your journal notes stay factual and not influenced by personal reactions?”

That allows for learning—without using someone’s private life as the example.

6) Lead with dignity, even when no one is watching

Clients don’t just remember whether the notarization was completed. They remember how you made them feel—especially if they already feel self-conscious, vulnerable, or judged.

So I’d choose dignity over discussion, and professionalism over engagement.

Closing thoughts

I’m not sharing this to shame anyone. Many notaries have never been trained on what to do when a situation surprises them emotionally, and it’s normal to want perspective from peers.

But our role comes with a level of trust that’s easy to overlook until we’re tested by an uncomfortable moment. People invite us into their lives—sometimes during some of their most vulnerable seasons. That access is not casual. And it shouldn’t be treated casually.

When we’re faced with something unexpected, we don’t have to be perfect—we just have to be principled. Protect privacy. Stay in our lane. Keep our notes factual. And choose dignity, even when no one is watching.

Because professionalism isn’t measured when everything is easy. It shows up most clearly when it isn’t.