We talk about change like it’s a magic word.
Change the system. Change the laws. Change the industry.

And to be clear: change is important. It’s how we move things forward, correct what’s broken, and build something better than what we inherited. I’ll always be an advocate for that.

But here’s the part we don’t talk about enough:

👉 Real, lasting change doesn’t come from shouting into the void with people who already agree with us.
👉 It comes from creating space where people with different opinions are actually willing to come to the table.

That’s harder. It’s also where the real work is.

Change Needs a Table, Not Just a Megaphone

We live in a moment where it’s incredibly easy to find people who think just like we do. One post, one hashtag, one viral video—and suddenly we’re “on the same side.” That can feel comforting, energizing, even validating.

But if everyone at the table already agrees with you, that’s not negotiation. That’s an echo chamber.

If we truly want to make change, we have to:

• Be open to hearing dissenting or differing opinions
• Be willing to listen when someone is uncomfortable, skeptical, or flat-out opposed
• Be prepared to compromise and negotiate without abandoning our values

Change that’s imposed on people rarely lasts. Change that’s discussed, understood, and accepted—even reluctantly—has a much better chance of sticking.

How We Advocate Matters Just as Much as What We Want

It’s not enough to say, “This needs to change.”
We also have to ask, “How am I going about this?”

Because how we advocate shapes:

• Who feels welcome at the conversation
• Who shuts down, digs in, or walks away
• What ultimately gets written into policy, contracts, laws, or industry standards

If our advocacy is rooted in shame, attacks, or “us vs. them” language, we might get attention—but we probably won’t get meaningful progress. Worse, we can alienate the exact people we need to work with in order to get anything done.

It’s just as important to be supportive of a cause as it is to be supportive of the person (or people) trying to make that difference—but those people also have a responsibility. They have to push for change in a way that doesn’t torch every bridge along the way.

Don’t Just Agree with the Message—Vet the Messenger

In the age of influencers, it’s dangerously easy to jump on board with someone just because they’re saying what we already believe.

They sound passionate.
They sound confident.
They sound like us.

But before you share, donate, promote, or align yourself with anyone, pause and ask:

• Who is this person, really?
• What does their organization stand for beyond this one issue?
• Do their core values align with yours?
• What is their track record—are they thoughtful and informed, or just loud and viral?
• Are they focused on real outcomes, or are they chasing clicks, clout, and controversy?

You’re not just supporting a single statement when you attach your name or business to someone. You’re endorsing their approach, their reputation, and the ripple effects of their behavior.

If their methods are reckless, inflammatory, or rooted in attention-seeking rather than understanding, you may find yourself unintentionally hurting the very cause you believe in.

When Advocacy Goes Sideways

Here’s a hard truth:

You can fight for a change and still end up with an outcome that looks nothing like what you had in mind.

That usually happens when:

• We don’t understand the systems or industries we’re trying to change
• We haven’t thought through the possible consequences of what we’re asking for
• We let the loudest voice in the room speak for us, without understanding how they negotiate or what they’re willing to trade away

You might start out advocating for something reasonable and important… and end up with a version of that change that helps on the surface but causes harm underneath. Or, you wind up with a “solution” that looks good in a press release but does nothing in practice.

Influencers who jump into complex industries—law, finance, healthcare, education, government, etc.—without really understanding them can unintentionally create massive confusion. They stir up energy and attention, but not always informed strategy.

And when decision-makers finally act under pressure, the policy or change they implement might be rushed, watered down, or just plain wrong for the people it was meant to help.

Be Strategic About Who You Hitch Your Wagon To

It is so important not to hitch your wagon to someone who is just looking for clickbait.

Ask yourself:

• Are they building relationships or burning them?
• Are they talking to the other side—or just talking about them?
• Are they willing to sit down and learn, or do they assume they already know everything?
• Are they focused on sustainable outcomes, or on going viral?

You deserve better than performative activism.
Your cause deserves better than empty noise.

Align yourself with people and organizations who:

• Do the homework
• Understand the systems they’re trying to change
• Know how negotiation and compromise work
• Care about the long-term impact, not just the short-term headlines

Thoughtful Change > Clickbait Change

At the end of the day, here’s what it comes down to:

• Change is necessary.
• Change is good.
• But change done poorly can set us back just as easily as it can move us forward.

So before you join a movement, share a post, or follow an influencer into a cause:

1. Vet the person.
2. Vet the organization.
3. Understand the approach.
4. Think about the endgame—not just the moment.

Let’s fight for change in a way that invites people to the table, keeps the conversation going, and leads to outcomes that truly reflect what we set out to accomplish.